I was visiting my parents sometime back. I had a good time. It was all eating and sleeping for me in that house. The food is always brought to my bed, where I can eat and take a nap afterwards. Watch TV all the time and I even get to pick what I want to watch, that basically me surfing through the channels.
The last night at my folks was rather a sad one. I witnessed something I never thought I will, in our so called civilized society. There is a very calm looking couple living next door with two young kids. That last night at my parents place I was appalled hearing that lady screaming and shouting for help. Her husband was like a bull set free on a matador tied to a lamppost. I don’t know whether that guy was wasted or something else. I even thought he caught his wife cheating on him, later I found out it has happened before. Soon the entire neighborhood was an audience to the freak show. Some people interfered and put a period to it.
But was he actually pacified? Will he not attempt to hit her again? I feel sorry for the kids who had to go through all this. Later, the blame was put on the husband. Everybody had some suggestions and everybody said, “He is such an educated guy”.
But one question is still believe is unanswered to me. Is it entirely the husband’s fault? I am not being a male chauvinist here neither I believe that the strength of a man lies in his fist or his balls to be unloaded on the opposite sex. But this is as much the wife’s fault as it is of her husband’s. She has been sitting and taking the shit from her husband all this while. Do we talk about women education just for them to go to college and get degrees? Is “Standing on one’s feet” is merely a remark? This lady in the picture has a Masters in Law. When I asked, why the lady hasn’t taken any action yet, the answer was quite a cliché, “She doesn’t want her family to fall apart, she care for her kids.” I don’t really think their wagon is going any distance with one dysfunctional wheel, or both for that matter. As for kids, I am sure this isn’t the kind of education they need to have.
The only person who can end a violence is the one who is suffering from it. You (Ladies) put yourself on the other side of the knife and the story is all together different. You need to show that if you had ball they would have been bigger than the ones who slapped you. This is not about who is physically stronger, but who has a stronger heart. Its not the size of the dog in the fight that matters, it’s the size of fight inside the dog that matters. If you have strength to take all the crap for your kids, then have the strength for fighting back for your kids. They will know better how to stand against crime and violence.
The resistance to domestic violence is increasing in certain parts of the urban society where women are financially indepenedent and have personal and professional aspirations thanks to decent education.
ReplyDeleteSo, it becomes very important to provide equal opportunity - social and academic as well as promotion of individualistic ideas in India. I am not a big fan of the individualistic virtues in the American society, but India surely needs a part of it.
Working ladies also has expanded social networks. They are not only bounded to their husband's social circle.
ReplyDeleteIt's all about the upbringing. If u want ur daughters to really to stand up for themselves, u gotta raise them that way. Mothers get beaten by their husbands, in the name of the family and pass on that understanding to their daughters.The old hindi film sequence "Ab to pati ke ghar se lash hi jayegi" is still there in the back of the minds of the Indian women.
ReplyDeleteThe parents play an important role here. They have to let their daughters know that she can fall back on to them and they'll be there. Unfortunately, a lot of parents in India would rather have their daughter dead then divorced.
In this scenario, if the women is educated, cant she find a job and live on her own, rather going back to parents.
ReplyDeletegood one whysk.
ReplyDeleteBravo!
ReplyDeleteFor me the root cause of domestic violence would be the burdened judicial system. Heck, even murderers are not convicted quickly, by the time the conviction comes, they are too old to care. Blaming it on women being docile may be correct but its pointless. People come in various varieties... assertive, docile, good, evil... its the diversity. You can't change that. Men and women would all come in various shapes, attitudes and 3 sizes. That is what makes people interesting. :)
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